When deprived of flavorful sustenance, the mouth will often retaliate by shouting your bank-account number at sporting events or turning every sentence into a high-pitched jingle. Tame an unruly tongue with today’s Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of casual American fare at The Pearl Street Pub & Dirty Martini Lounge. The Pearl Street Pub & Dirty Martini Lounge’s menu sates diners with a selection of hearty entrees, sleek salads, and sandwiches. Begin the meal and etiquette lessons for formal beluga whale soirees by picking at the poached shrimp cocktail ($9) before indulging in a layered salad ($6 small, $10 large) such as the eponymous Pearl St. Pub with bacon, egg, and avocado piled on thickets of lettuce and tomato. Sink into a french dip ($8), or scuttle up next to a golden crab-cake sandwich topped with red-pepper-flecked Old Bay mayo ($9). Sweet desserts ($6 each) covertly fashioned by nefarious dental lobbies balance savory meals, and options include lemon-berry mascarpone between two layers of sweet biscuit and berry cake.
Pearl Street Pub’s classic fare complements its elegant, simple setting accented with a wood-paneled bar, warm lighting, and an outdoor patio. Pre- or post-meal, join in on one of the pub’s weekly events, which include comedy nights, trivia nights, and happy hours featuring live bands.
Groupon Says
Groupon Guide to: Baby-Sitting
Until child-labor laws are amended to allow adolescents to become doctors and lawyers, business-savvy youths will be restricted to earning a living as a babysitter. If you're stuck tending to babies, follow these tips to ensure you'll maintain steady employment:
- Arrive early so you have plenty of time to determine how long it takes to exit the house through the chimney, should you accidentally lock yourself in the home.
- Before the parents leave, reassure them their baby will be fine by swallowing the emergency-contact info sheet, then opening your mouth so they can see you aren't hiding it behind your tonsils.
- Leave the baby alone. Since babies aren't smart, it's likely the baby will mistake you for one of its parents and expect you to constantly cradle it, unless it mistakes you for a deer, in which case it will expect you to constantly lick it.
- Enforce a strict bedtime. Without sleep, babies' brains never shut down, allowing them to constantly acquire new knowledge and grow in size. If a baby's brain grows too quickly, that baby will be more uncomfortable when the parents dress it in a child-size football helmet.
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