It takes about 15 muscles to smile, 50 to frown, and 148 to save a curbside couch from life in a landfill. Soothe sympathetic sinews with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a one-hour Swedish, deep-tissue, or hot-stone massage at Welcome Relief Massage Therapy (up to an $80 value) in Malta.
Clients can relax and practice shadow puppet routines inside Welcome Relief Massage Therapy’s sunny sitting area, before being led in to one of the massage areas. Stressed skeleton suits can enjoy the benefits of a full-body one-hour Swedish massage, which uses medium pressure to relieve muscle tension and stimulate circulation (a $65 value). Clients hoarding pockets of hurt, however, can indulge in a firm-pressure deep-tissue massage that can help alleviate pain and stress (a $75 value). And with a combination of Swedish massage techniques and warm, smooth, oiled stones, a hot-stone massage delivers a comfortable warmth that will drain away tension and bring your muscles to optimal stress-exorcism temperature (an $80 value).
Military and service personnel receive a 50% discount off regular massage prices at Welcome Relief Massage Therapy.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Making Decisions
Now that all coins feature the same image of a turkey eating its young on both sides, flipping a coin is no longer the most scientifically sound method to make a decision. Here are the steps you can take to make an informed decision:
Weigh Your Options: To make your decision based on facts, not emotions, always weigh your options and choose the heaviest one. If you are deciding between two things that can't be weighed, such as the love of a child or 10 ounces of silver, remember that the silver can actually be weighed.
Consult Your Horoscope: Look into the sky on a clear night—if you're making a correct decision, your aligned constellation will appear to be nodding at you. Of course, this is just an optical illusion, as the stars can't actually move—it's the Earth that's nodding in response to your decision.
Avoid the Experts: Just as Hamlet asked the ghost of his dead father whether or not he should marry Juliet instead of consulting his local marriage professor, you should never seek advice from a so-called "expert." The real expert is your gut, which will fill with searing acetic acid if you make a wrong choice.
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