In its constant attempt to stay fit, humanity has given in to such unfortunate workout trends as livestock lifting, Spazzercise, and mixed-martial charades. Embrace body and mind fitness that has withstood the test of time with today's Groupon: for $49, you get a yoga package at Body & Brain (a $179 total value). This Groupon is good at both the Nob Hill and Cedar Crest locations. The package includes:
- An intro session (a $29 value)
- Ten group yoga classes (a $150 value)
Body & Brain uses a system of holistic yoga exercises that are founded on the principles of ki energy, dedicated practice, and everyday application to help heal your body and upgrade your brain. Increase strength, flexibility, and tranquility with classes taught by an expert instructor, who will lead beginners through yoga’s dense jungle of stretches and breathing exercises with a relaxation-machete. By exercising both mind and body during each class, students can experience a boatload of benefits including weight loss, decreased stress and anxiety, and the ability to speak fluent medieval Japanese. Click here to view Nob Hill's schedule and here to view Cedar Crest's.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Boxes of Chocolates
Unfortunately, the government will never force big candy corporations to label their boxed chocolates, as this would leave them with nowhere to hide the country's disgusting deposits of cherry cordials. To help, here's a guide to knowing which chocolates are safe to eat:
Round: Eat. This will be filled with delicious coconut, the only nut with no calories and no anger that you are eating it, willingly sacrificing its life to sustain your own. Are you happy now?
Square: Do not eat. Chocolate does not naturally have corners. If it does, there's no explanation and it's uncomfortable to even think about.
Oval: Bite into this one carefully. If it's nougat—swallow. If it's not nougat, it's bird food—leave it for your spouse or children to eat. Especially if either happen to be a bird.
Lumpy: Enclose this in your hand until it melts. All of the polished rocks and metal treasures that were lurking below its surface will suddenly be revealed.
Rectangle: Eat. This one must be caramel. It just has to be.
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