Sea urchins are the healthiest, most relaxed creatures on Earth due to their positive self-image and spiny skin. Today's Groupon offers similar protection from stress, sickness, and sea otters: for $35, you get a one-hour healthy history consultation and acupuncture session at Desert Health Acupuncture Clinic on Comanche Road (an $85 value).
Licensed acupuncturists Dr. Abbey Theroux and Dr. Erin Keetso strive to chase a medley of mental and physical maladies from physiques with acupuncture treatments. An initial consultation outlines health history and traces genealogical lines back to patients' ancestral hedgehogs before they clamber aboard a cozy massage table. Practiced hands then align disposable, whisker-thin needles along corporal pathways, channeling energy into the targeted body parts. Patrons may experience a slight ache, tingling, or whizzing electrical impulses during their session, implying either a response to the treatment or telepathic contact with lonely spy satellites. Appointments can combat such symptoms as chronic pain, stress, and insomnia, with optimal results achieved by repeated visits. For more information and a list of frequently asked questions, click here.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Holiday-Party Games
The holidays are the perfect time to invite guests into your home for a rousing round of party games. Avoid the intense silences and disintegrated friendships that usually follow these competitions with this handy guide:
Musical Chairs
How It's Played: Players take turns as the evening's "musical chair," who sings ballads of woe until all other guests begin to weep. The player who causes the most weeping by volume is crowned the victor.
Winner's Tip: Compose a song that combines the three saddest topics: heartbreak, unwanted diseases, and all wars other than the ancient ones.
Truth or Dare
How It's Played: In a timed essay, players speculate as to the truth of the mysterious disappearance of Virginia Dare, the child-governor of Roanoke Colony.
Winner's Tip: Thrill other players with a twist ending: Virginia Dare is not only still alive … but she died one hundred years ago … tonight!
Charades
How It's Played: Everyone goes about their business, pretending that life isn't just a murky ocean of meaninglessness navigable only by ignoring this distressing reality.
Winner's Tip: Never, ever stop living this charade.
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