Hair is like detailed knowledge of X-Files plotlines—although extremely useful, revealing too much of it in the wrong place can sink your social life. Today's Groupon abducts rogue hairs with technology invented by a shadowy group of elites known only as the Syndicate: for $99, you get three laser hair-removal treatments at Eternal Youth Medical Spa (up to a $1,125 value). This deal can only be used for treatment of the chin, upper lip, underarms, or bikini line, and all three treatments must target the same area. The value of this Groupon can also be applied toward larger packages.
Eternal Youth Medical Spa's experienced and certified staff wields state-of-the-art lasers to zap unwanted hair from follicled physiques. The Lumenis LightSheeer Diode Laser works on a variety of skin types to halt the unsightly overproduction of black and brown tresses. Each treatment consists of a single laser pass across the skin, banishing body foliage with less effort than what is demanded by the arcane plucking processes of yesteryear. Treatments take up to one hour, depending on the area treated. Total hair elimination takes anywhere from two to six visits (usually five) scheduled four to six weeks apart to combat follicle-stimulating full moons.
Although laser hair removal is a safe, gentle process, some patients experience brief bouts of redness, slight swelling, or minor discomfort lasting from an hour up to a day after treatment. However, most patients resume their day-to-day activities immediately, unless their day-to-day activities include standing camouflaged against a backdrop of Robin William's bare chest.
LightSheer laser hair removal is not effective for blonde and gray hair.
Reviews
Five Google Mappers give Eternal Youth Medical Spa an average of five stars.
- ...a very friendly and serene atmosphere, the best team of qualified beauty professionals and most importantly, their abillity [sic] to offer an individually tailored plan to address your specific beauty concerns. – Lois, Google Maps
- The spa is beautiful, quiet and serene. The staff at Eternal Youth gave excellent service… – Stephanie, Google Maps
Groupon Says
Back to the Future's Past
Once you've been zapped by Eternal Youth's beautifying beams, it's traditional to take in a viewing of the 1982 teen comedy Zapped!, in which a young Scott Baio gains telekinetic powers after experiencing the titular onomatopoeia. Such convoluted premises were typical in memorable ’80s comedies such as Mannequin and The Great Muppet Caper but what about more obscure titles?
Fresh Outta Luck (1988): Nothing seems to be going right for Billy Mayday (Hogan and Sons' Darrel Payton). Both of his parents are getting re-divorced from his new stepparents on Christmas day, and if he doesn't pass his driving exam, he won't be able to take Shenni Porter to the Senior Pool Party. But with a little help from a mysterious old man and his disappearing shop, a mysterious creature with even more mysterious abilities, a mysterious eclipse that brings motorcycles to life, and Billy's future self-wearing sunglasses, he might just pull it off…or will he?
Better Not Pout (1982): Rebellious teen Gwen Darby doesn't believe in the spirit of Christmas. But will she change her mind when her mom brings home a new boyfriend—Santa Claus? Watch for a cameo by a young Jude Law as Santa's favorite elf, Screamy.
And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird (1987): Youngsters Joshua (Joshua Miller) and Max (Edan Gross) attempt to invent a fully mobile robot with advanced artificial intelligence to help their mother (Marcia Strassman) with household chores. However, after a playfully performed séance, the ghost of their late father (Alan Thicke) possesses the robot. The boys' mother is suffering financial setbacks since their father died and has to put the house up for sale. The boys are forced to unplug RoboDad's battery, leaving him with only a half hour of power. As the family drives away from their home for the last time, RoboDad slowly dies in the boys' arms.
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