From Napoleon's great crab walk through Europe to J. Robert Oppenheimer's discovery of nuclear fission by kissing his own elbow, victory has always gone to the most flexible. Overpower enemies with today's Groupon: for $39, you get one month of unlimited Pilates mat and yoga classes (a $124 value) at Stability Pilates and Physical Therapy in Sandy Springs.
Housed in a 3,300-square-foot facility bedecked in comforting hues of lime green, white, and blue, Stability Pilates and Physical Therapy is an ideal place to extend the limbs, tauten the muscles, and purify the mind-matter. With an expansive class schedule led by a brood of friendly instructors, fitness enthusiasts looking to create creek-crossing backbend-bridges have one month of unlimited access to an assortment of yoga sessions, including Ashtanga and power flow, as well as any level of Pilates mat courses. Customers seeking solid cores can undertake the mat class for a challenging workout that uses the body as resistance against the tyrannical polished floor below, while a tender-footed yogi may wish to instigate more spiritual stress destruction in the basics yoga course, where an instructor leads a tranquil journey through breathing exercises and signature backbends and inversions.
Both Pilates and yoga employ multiple muscle groups at once to rehabilitate and develop bodies, allowing them to emerge from the veritable Zeus head of continued practice with increased flexibility, lean appendages, and a soul sack less prone to injury. Whatever your fitness level or class choice, you'll leave feeling sturdy and relaxed, confident enough to perform powerful pogo-stick PowerPoint presentations or easily bedazzle the small of your back.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Poemtry
"Poetry is the science of the heart," said noted poem master Robert "2 Cold" Frost. He simply meant that poetry is the most science-like of all the arts, as it can be broken down into its base elements, categorized, and reverse engineered under laboratory conditions. Here's a guide to creating your own works of rhyming heart science:
Find Your Genre There are three basic genres of poetry:
- Inspirational: Uplifts the spirit with references to clouds and the birds that eat them.
- Terrorfying: Includes works such as "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Grier.
- Slam: Conveys a deep, personal message through the medium of shouting.
Put the Words Together Without exception, all poems share one basic trait: they must rhyme. Early poets rhymed every single word, but today's lazy poets rhyme only a few words at the end of every other sentence.
Once you've selected your base, or "rhyme words," add some metaphors. A metaphor is when one thing, usually something from nature such as a sunbeam or a skeleton, stands for something else—and this other thing is always freedom.
Publish or Perish Don't leave your poems rotting in a drawer (they will attract flies). Instead, send them to one of the hundreds of busy poetry publishers that are eager to pay handsomely for your couplets. Or, earn a living writing today's modern poetry—television police procedurals.
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