While 20% of babies who were exposed to classical music in utero become doctors or lawyers, 100% of babies born on stage during a classical music performance become Bill Gates. Nourish your own artistic offspring with today's Groupon: for $5, you get admission to the Austin Symphonic Band's "ASB and Friends" concert on Friday, April 15, at 8 p.m. at the Bethany Lutheran Church (up to a $10 value).
An esteemed wind ensemble made up of masterful volunteer musicians, the Austin Symphonic Band enchants and educates the community with spellbinding concerts, acclaimed guest artists, and exciting special events. "ASB and Friends" will showcase works from a range of decades, such as a turn-of-the-century selection by François Borne and modern works by Frank Ticheli and John Wasson. Like the best romantic evenings and business power lunches, the band is enhanced by the addition of a trombone quartet, SubitoBones, and a award-winning flautist, Alison Hazen Olsen, displaying flawless facility and masterly musicality in selections such as Jan Koetsier's Concertino for Trombone Quartet. Music mavens can buy an unlimited number of Groupons as gifts, allowing for outings of every size, from serenades to a single loved one to field trips with a group of training pied pipers.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Beer Sophistication
As one progresses into adulthood, beer stops being the preeminent beverage of brazen yield-sign theft and the liquid catalyst for fisticuffs between anthropomorphic college mascots.
Adult beverages warrant adult behavior and none more so than the sophisticated microbrews, imported stouts, and männlagers chosen for Thinking While Drinking Magazine's annual list of most sophisticated beers. Here are last year's entrants:
- Sexy Skeleton Pressed-Tofu Cider
- Gargam Ale—The Smurf-Squeezed Brew That's a Milky Blue
- Rooster in a Waistcoat: The French? Beer
- Nightmare Fuel Porter—As Dark as the Night That Took Your Prom Date
- PaterBrau, the Premier Liquid Regret Dampener for Estranged Adult Sons
- Anything served in a novelty Phillies helmet
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