A wig allows its wearer to immediately assume a new identity, which is convenient for self-defendants insistent upon interrogating themselves on trial. Acquire a bold new persona with today's Groupon: for $199, you get a three-hour wig party for eight people at Coco Coquette, part of the Maison d'Etoile style collective (a $415 value).
Coco Coquette's expert wig and makeup stylists craft eccentric looks by adorning party-goers in colorful coiffures and glamorous cosmetics. During the 180-minute soiree, guests ensconce their brain-cases in new hair and bold makeup before seducing false retinas in a one-hour booth provided by Fun Loving Photos. Guests can bring their own soft drinks, wine, or cocktails to enjoy while selecting from wig hues ranging from electric lavender to pitch black. All guests exit the party with their very own wig, allowing them to extend the fashion catwalk to their own homes and their neighbor’s driveways.
Coco Coquette's collection of eclectic accouterments extends into a wide array of vintage accessories and several lines of vibrant makeup. In addition to the party memories stored beneath a colorful new coiffure, customers also receive a 15% discount on all clothing from the adjacent Charm School Vintage shop, ensuring that all time-traveling excursions, though fraught with reality-altering ramifications, will be free of any fashion faux pas.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Personal Identity
A person's identity can grow and change throughout their lifetime, like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a bumblebee. Here's a look at some possible identities at different life stages:
Toddlers: Once toddlers pass through the Terrible Twos, so called because they will do everything terrible (temper tantrums, aggravated perjury) two times, they can pass into their Thrilling Threes or directly into the Foreboding Fours, during which they will be besieged by haunting, unending visions of their future mediocrity.
Teens: Though some teens will have settled into a clear identity, such as "slacker," "junior scientist," or "sports Midas," others remain confused about their career path until the end of high school. This is why they take aptitude tests such as the SATs, which prepare students for the only two jobs available in the future: superyacht salesman and vagabond.
Adults: Grown-ups can easily alter their identities by petitioning city hall to change their names. Popular adult names include Race McWinner, Sir Handsome, Dr. Attractive Woman, and Mom. Be sure to settle on an identity by age 50, when your finished tombstone, including name, epitaph, and applicable birth and death dates, will be mailed to your home by the federal government.
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