Sore necks and backs often arise at the workplace, where employees are routinely forced to sit in front of computers for long periods of time and give piggyback rides to the CEO’s 30-year old son. Give backsides a break with today's Groupon to Complete Wellness. Choose between the following options:
- For $35, you get one 60-minute fix-it, pregnancy, sport, or destress massage (a $70 value).
- For $99, you get three 60-minute fix-it, pregnancy, sport, or destress massages (a $210 value).
Complete Wellness’s massage gurus draw from multiple sinew-soothing modalities when treating sore muscles in private, brick-walled rooms. Patrons can surrender anxiety-ridden ligaments to the destress massage, a tension-relieving kneading that employs light, gliding Swedish massage strokes and ambient music that's more peaceful than the sounds of Kenny G reading a good book by the crackling fire. Ideal for those with active lifestyles, the sport massage digs deep into sinew to stretch out taut tendons, as does the fix-it massage’s tactical blend of Swedish, acupressure, and shiatsu deep-tissue techniques. Pregnancy massages aid moms-to-be through each trimester by easing prenatal discomfort and pains spawned from carrying industrial pastry ovens underneath their shirts.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Siblings
Because it's not polite to tell a child their age, many people don't know whether they are the eldest, middle, or youngest sibling in the family. Take this quiz to find out which one you might be:
Your favorite way to influence the future is by:
a. Organizing your son's social studies binder
b. Deconstructing Lego cities built by children to teach them to doubt the establishment
c. Chewing!
Your workout routine involves:
a. Bench-pressing smaller humans
b. Contemplating
c. Running on a metal wheel!
It's dinnertime. You take your place:
a. At the head of the table. Everyone in the family will be excited to hear you regale them with the story of how you won today.
b. In your bedroom. Watching your family members chew makes you sick.
c. In the food bowl! Hopefully you'll be able to pick out some of those delicious sunflower seeds!
If you could redecorate your home you would:
a. Expand. You need a home for all your cars and a garage for all your children. Oops! Other way around.
b. Burn the thing down
c. Add more tubes!
Answer key: If you picked mostly As: You're the eldest sibling, congratulations! Your assertive type A personality makes you a leader in the family and a difficult person to watch television with.
If you picked mostly Bs: You're the middle sibling. You're artistic, emotional, and immune to romantic comedy.
If you picked mostly Cs: Your name is Oreo, you're the fifth child in a litter of 14, and everyone here just wants you to come home.
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