Like falling, bloating is an unpleasant bodily sensation that can ruin a perfectly good slow dance. Move gracefully with today’s Groupon to Lake Travis Wellness Center. Choose between the following options:
- For $45, you get one colon-hydrotherapy treatment (a $95 value).
- For $142, you get three colon-hydrotherapy treatments (a $285 value).
State law requires a doctor-issued prescription to have colon hydrotherapy performed, which can be prescribed at Lake Travis Wellness Center for an additional fee of $35.
Certified colon hydrotherapist Karen Million lightens physiques and moods with cleansing colonic treatments. After a one-on-one consultation to go over the patient's specific health goals, the one-hour process irrigates the lower digestive tract with warm, sterile water to flush away toxic waste, providing benefits for many different conditions and turning the spleen green with envy. Intestinal blockage, gas, and stubborn solids are evicted from their organ hideouts, leaving patients feeling lighter, more relaxed, and less susceptible to unflattering Freudian analyses.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Product Endorsements
When someone truly loves a product, they want the whole world to know about it, which is why more and more people are recording their own commercials for national television. Here are some key phrases to use when endorsing your favorite mass-produced goods:
- "I make my own seat belts, but if I didn't, I'd use these ones."
- "My lizards can also use these hair products as a skin lubricant."
- "I honestly can't recommend that you get braces any more than I'm recommending it right now."
- "I don't touch technology because of lasers and such, but this electronic tablet makes a very thick place mat."
- "An energy drink made from refined industrial runoff?! Talk about recycling!"
- "I used to hate myself for drinking liquid soap all the time, but this soap has little to none of the sad, familiar aftertaste."
- "I know it sounds cliché, but this angel food cake tastes like a slice of heaven .... No, you're redundant."
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