Giving yourself a massage, like throwing yourself a surprise birthday party or asking for your own hand in marriage, is a surefire disappointment. Leave kneading to the knowledgeable with today's Groupon to Rub Massage Austin. Choose between the following options:
- For $29, you get a 60-minute custom massage (a $65 value).
- For $49, you get a 90-minute custom massage (a $100 value).
Rub Massage Austin’s owner, nationally certified massage therapist Glen Taylor, expunges tension nestled within sinews and stress-addled minds via custom massages inside a newly minted studio space. During each lengthy massage, Glen layers a number of advanced techniques—including deep tissue, trigger point, and myofascial release—atop a sturdy foundation of Swedish-massage techniques to craft a one-of-a-kind massage customized to each client’s personal needs. Ideal for those with active lifestyles, such as athletes, dancers, and life-size hamster-ball testers, Glen’s curative blitzkrieg of fierce strokes and deep stretches deftly melts muscles while easing crippling aches and bolstering range of motion.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Insurance
Everybody knows the importance of purchasing all of the standard insurances (home, boat, life, second boat, etc.). But now there are other, specialized insurances available to the discerning scared person. See if they are potentially worth looking into:
- Sandwich Insurance: In addition to offering protection from all the typical sandwich hazards—intelligent birds, sandwich ants, and acts of Rod (the local bully)—sandwich insurance also protects you from bland boring sandwiches by mailing you a tub of dipping salsa once a week.
- Sunglasses Insurance: Should your sunglasses fall down a sewer or get run over by something, a good sunglasses insurance plan will provide a fully licensed hypeman to inform all passersby that you are really cool until a replacement pair of sunglasses is found.
- Relationship Insurance: Worried about the long-term stability of your current romantic partner? Well, fret not—if it doesn't work out, your relationship insurance provider will mail you a human of equal or lesser emotional maturity, plus a check for $300 dollars! Note: rejected party is not eligible.
- Foam Insurance: Like home insurance, but for your foam.
- Sleep Insurance: You will receive a check for $47 for every one of the hundreds of yearly occasions during which you eat a spider while you're asleep.
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