The martini was invented during the great green olive surplus of 1863 as a way to put the excess supply to good use. It quickly became the drink of choice for sophisticated sippers across the globe and a favorite of the sexier mer-creatures. With today’s Groupon, $20 gets you $50 worth of martinis, beer, and everything else offered at The Martini Bar in the South Loop. The discreet blue sign outside is the only indication of this hidden gem’s existence. Once you find your way inside (hint: it’s across the street from the Chicago Board of Trade, where the money gets invented), you’re transported back to a time when James Bond’s middle name was Connery and mad men blew off some steam with a stiff lunch-break martini. 1.5 Martinis: Glances become 30% more suspicious.3.2 Martinis: Proficiency with exploding dart pen becomes consistently accurate, callous.4 Martinis: Wrinkles in tuxedo are smoothed out as body begins to secrete highly viscous liquid confidence.4.9 Martinis: The phrase “No man could have survived that” is bandied about so frequently it loses all impact.6 Martinis: Enemies 25% more easily seduced, 100% more easily betrayed.