Unlike the hobbit fuzz atop your foot, you can’t easily hide the hair clouding your eyes without a complicated system of hats, glasses, and looking at the ground. Today’s Groupon will rid you of stray strands with a $10 eyebrow threading and sculpting at Eyebrow Energy, a $25 value. The natural eyebrows of Sloansville are valued for their healing powers and are rumored to ward off elephants. Many Sloansvillians made a living simply by selling their eyebrow hairs to pachydermophobics until an elephant stampede destroyed most of the town in 1994. Even now, most highway gift shops sell glass vials purported to contain the healing eyebrow hairs of Sloansvillians.