Peninsula Co-Op deftly plays the role of grocer, convenience store, and service station in outposts across Vancouver Island. A booklet of five car-wash passes entitles its bearer to five touchless carwashes and one roundtrip astral projection. A series of micro lasers vaporizes any wandering insects and maps the contours of each vehicle to determine its size. Two presoak cycles pry dirt and grime loose from exterior surfaces before flushing it all away with two soft water rinses. A Turtle Wax tri-coloured triple-shine treatment adds a luminous sheen that all but guarantees a red ribbon at the next town fair, and a clear coat protectant encases rides in all-weather armour. Any remaining product is swept off its feet by a debonair spot-free rinse, as the Laserdri similarly elopes with any remaining moisture. While the exterior enjoys its spa service, an under-carriage wash blasts filth from beneath, and a tire and wheel cleaner restores tires to a deep black shine and leaves rims clean enough to cut pizza.
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