In addition to providing recreational enjoyment, riding in bumper boats and playing miniature golf are excellent ways to prepare children for a future filled with inflatable boat pirates and malevolent windmills. Prepare your child for the future with today's Groupon: for $15, you get one Give Me Five pass to Kimball Farm in Westford. This Groupon expires on July 1.
The Give Me Five pass grants access to five of any of the following activities: Kimball Farm's 300-yard driving range, nine-hole pitch-and-putt course, and batting cages will help golfers and batters adjust squeaky swings, and the Animal Adventures exhibit allows guests to interact with reptiles while discussing current events with talking birds. Give Me Fivers can also perform kinetic-energy experiments using colorful balls on the Waterfall Run or Forbidden Mine miniature-golf courses before boarding a bumper boat to faithfully recreate Star Wars on melted ice. The pass may also be used to acquire a play card (a $6 value) from the Olde Sawmill Midway Arcade.
Named Best Ice Cream Parlor in Massachusetts by USA Today in 2010, Kimball Farm crafts and serves more than 40 varieties of summer snowballs while consistently unveiling signature ice-cream concoctions, including ginger-snap molasses, black raspberry, and pistachio nut. Pass holders can also commission fresh barbecue and seafood from Kimball Farm's outdoor grill, though food is not included in today's Groupon.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Personal Identity
A person's identity can grow and change throughout their lifetime, like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a bumblebee. Here's a look at some possible identities at different life stages:
Toddlers: Once toddlers pass through the Terrible Twos, so called because they will do everything terrible (temper tantrums, aggravated perjury) two times, they can pass into their Thrilling Threes or directly into the Foreboding Fours, during which they will be besieged by haunting, unending visions of their future mediocrity.
Teens: Though some teens will have settled into a clear identity, such as "slacker," "junior scientist," or "sports Midas," others remain confused about their career path until the end of high school. This is why they take aptitude tests such as the SATs, which prepare students for the only two jobs available in the future: superyacht salesman and vagabond.
Adults: Grown-ups can easily alter their identities by petitioning city hall to change their names. Popular adult names include Race McWinner, Sir Handsome, Dr. Attractive Woman, and Mom. Be sure to settle on an identity by age 50, when your finished tombstone, including name, epitaph, and applicable birth and death dates, will be mailed to your home by the federal government.
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