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Though flowers yanked from your neighbors' garden may help you apologize to your sweetie, you'll need something to apologize to your neighbors for tearing up their garden. Today's deal has you covered: $50 worth of artfully arranged flowers from Rutland Beard Florist of Baltimore for $25. Just browse Rutland's website for ideas, give the staff a call (Groupon not good for online orders), and place your order for delivery throughout the serviceable Baltimore area and nearby zip codes. Or better yet, stop in the bloomy boutique to browse the loose-cut flowers and talk to the friendly and knowledgeable floral artists in person. They'll happily help you choose an arrangement to suit your needs, bowtie color, and budget.
Rutland Beard Florist will help you prepare for haute holiday hostessing. Dress up your presentation of roast beast with a holiday centerpiece of evergreen sprigs, pine cones, and carnations ($40–$60), or give your guests something to nibble on with an arrangement of roses, tulips, carnations, and waxflowers in a tall vase wrapped with ribbon and candy canes ($40–$60). Send a pretty poinsettia in a handsome basket to your festive farmer ($40–$60), or simply reflect the Crisp Winter Skies in a glass vase of roses, delphinium, and waxflowers ($40–$60).
Beyond the Yuletide, Rutland Beard Florist is well known for its exotic and creative designs, such as the Artistic Tribute, in which aster and rose reach out from a squat vase to create dramatic height and compelling composition ($45–$60). Instantly update your stale apartment with Hi-Style Decor ($40–$60) or send your singular sweetie a bundle of Rosey Romance ($40–$75). If you're unsure which triplet to propose to, test out the waters by sending each a simple and elegant red rose bud arrangement ($25–$35). And if you're a DIY sort, Rutland Beard carries a wide selection of different flower varieties at all times, so it's easy to come up with a stunning custom design as good as the one on the side of your van.
You may use your Groupon toward the flat delivery rate of $12.95 for local Baltimore deliveries.
Googlers and Yahoo! Local users give Rutland Beard five stars, and Yellowpagers give it four stars:
- Rutland Beard Florist has always done a great job, and they are a pleasure to work with. They are reliable and have very impressive designers. Always fresh flowers, too... – Robert, Google
- Rutland Beard Florist simply has the most beautiful flowers in this area! I have used them for special Birthday flowers, graduation flowers, and always send flowers from them with great results. – Suzanne, Yahoo! Local
- The sales person I worked with had a very extensive knowledge of flowers and was very helpful in pointing me in the right direction. – ryan6765, Yellowpages
The beauty, fragrance, and social significance of flowers have long overshadowed their original intended usage: defense. Flowers, also known as nature’s nunchucks, have long protected the floral kingdom from interlopers made of meat, but now that man has tamed the flower, what breeds can we use to defeat our enemies?
The Belgium Razored Rose: These sharp little beauties are lush and cushy until they’ve been cut and dried for an afternoon. Then their pedals become deadly shuriken-like projectiles, guaranteed to look awesome when thrown in a nightclub, and to give your opponents cool little facial slashes that will one day impress their sons.
The Weeping Lily: Just as tear gas is not actually a gas but a fine crystalline substance that impedes breathing and causes pain and temporary blindness, the Weeping Lily is actually not a lily at all, but a member of the orchid family that also happens to spit tear gas.
Murder Daisies: The only fully anthropomorphized flower on this list, these little dastards have angry-looking scrunched-up faces if you get a close enough look, which you might if they happen to uproot themselves, pin you to your bed in the night with a twine of fibrous wheat stalk, and hold your eyelids open while they sneeze pollen onto your corneas for kicks.
The Chrysanthebomb: Relatively self-explanatory. Tick, tick, tick, sniff, boom.
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