Chiropractical Solutions & Massage is offering a health consultation plus two one-hour massages for just $60 - 57% off the regular price of $140. Want a deep tissue massage? Swedish? Chiropractical Solutions & Massage can perform traditional relaxation massage with the best of them - but unlike your average spa, they'll medically assess, target and cure your aches and pains. Chiropractical Solutions & Massage is like a Voltron formed by a massage therapist, a chiropractor - that would be Dr. Jeremy Weisz - and a friendly neighbor. You'll leave the office feeling like a new man, woman, or cylon). (And let's face it: The new cylons are awesome.)
You might be so distracted by aches and pains that you can't thoroughly process how much of a deal this is. Here's the breakdown: Thirty dollars per massage, or 50 cents per massage-minute. It would cost more to bribe your significant other to fumble his or her thumbs aimlessly around your back - and they surely don't have the magic touch of Dr. Weisz and the Chiropractical Solutions massage masters.
Chiropractical Solutions & Massage is located at 1720 W. Belmont in that fuzzy area that's sort of both Lakeview and Roscoe Village. In spite of the turf wars between the Lakeview and Roscoe Village gangs, that's a pretty good location - way better than the Lakecoe Viewlage Crack House & Chiropractic Center, whose customer reviews all involve scary and random acts of violence.
A few testimonials:
- "The accident that I had with my ribs put a huge strain on my back, which was already in bad shape from my scoliosis and reverse curve in my neck. After spending almost a year going to tons of doctors and excessive physical therapy and not getting better, I was beginning to lose hope...I have not taken medicine for a month now..." - Daniella D., New Jersey
- "Your care ethic is extraordinary and makes it so natural and healing to seek, receive and benefit from chiropractic care and massage. I wholeheartedly recommend anyone even just beginning to question the possibility of such hope to make an appointment and not delay...Neck mobility is always so much freer after a visit!" - Sheryl B.H., Des Plaines, Ill.
- "Dr. Weisz is the most caring doctor I ever had...I suffered with neck pain, mid back pain, low back pain, pain in both hands, wrist pain and forearm pain. He is the most genuine, sincere, and honest doctor I've ever had...he always made sure I left his office with a smile. Thank you Dr. Weisz." - Jay P. Chicago, Ill
A custom-made massage will fit you perfectly, like a butler's coattails split at the perfect height for the butler's tail to rest comfortably between them. And this is double your pleasure - two one-hour massages! Relaxation, deep tissue, Swedish, whatever you want: You'll feel so good after leaving the office, you'll think aliens sucked out all the pain with their Pain-Free Vacuum Probes (patent pending). Get your Groupon!
