Hair, much like the arms of evil space despots, will always grow back unless properly dispatched by a laser. Mow down follicular appendages for good with today's Groupon to Advanced Laser Clinics in Oak Brook. Choose between the following options:
- For $149, you get six laser hair-removal treatments on a small area (up to a $975 value). Small areas include:
- Full brow (an $899 value)
- Ears (an $899 value)
- Chin (a $975 value)
- Upper lip (a $725 value)
- Cheeks (an $899 value)
- For $299, you get six laser hair-removal treatments on a large area (up to a $1,525 value). Large areas include:
- Hands (a $1,445 value)
- Underarms (a $1,525 value)
- Front or back of neck (a $1,425 value)
- Navel (a $1,125 value)
- Sides of bikini (a $1,425 value)
Advanced Laser Clinics disables hair growth with the FDA-approved Lumenis LightSheer Diode laser. Before warming up the lasers, technicians spread cooling gel over treatment areas, ensuring comfort and hiding clients from infrared spy cameras. In each 15- to 20-minute session, the laser's high-powered light disables fuzz-sprouting follicles, reducing hair's visibility with each treatment. A sapphire-tipped hand piece actively draws heat away from skin to cool it further. Six treatments, spaced 7–14 weeks apart, typically produce full results and leave skin as smooth as a silk scarf dipped in butter.
Though Advanced Laser Clinics sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Children's Literature
Though all adult books must be about adultery, children's books can cover a variety of topics. Here's a guide to the most popular children's book plots:
Child Adopts Talking Dog: A child takes in a stray dog, only to find out that it can speak! He gives it to a friend after realizing how little he and the dog have in common.
Child Loses a Kite: The child forgets the only rule of kite flying—holding on. The child spends most of the book making "lost kite" signs until, flattered, the kite returns home.
Child Gets a New Sibling: A child learns to make his own lunch when his parents become very busy.
Child Talks to an Old Person: The least plausible type of plot—a child having an earnest conversation with an old neighbor or old grandparent—is an adorable scenario that exemplifies how truly far-fetched the world of fiction can be!
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