The human body is more than 60% water, which is why most philosophers claim that water parks are the most salient metaphor for life. Live a little with today's Groupon to Magic Waters Waterpark in Cherry Valley. Choose between the following options:
• For $22, you get two adult tickets (up to a $45.90 value).
• For $44, you get four adult tickets (up to a $91.80 value).
Magic Waters attractions thrill adventure seekers and soothe relaxation seekers, and the park's certified lifeguards keep guests safe as they frolic in the water. Soaked screams of delight sound from the Body Slides, where torsos careen down five-story-high tubes at speeds of up to 30 miles per hour, unencumbered by tubes, boards, or the palanquins used for all non-aquatic transportation. The Typhoon Terror sends four tubers at a time hurtling into a whirling cyclone simulation, and Tsunami Bay's 707,000-gallon pool launches endless waves, some higher than six feet. Lazier fun unfolds on Splash Magic River, where a gentle current guides sunbathers down a manmade river 1,200 feet long. Younger guests can climb, slide, and research their Robinson Crusoe remake scripts at the Tiki Island and Little Lagoon water playgrounds.
Magic Waters sports several park eating areas, including an outdoor grill, where cheeseburgers and hot dogs replenish depleted swimmers, and the Thirsty Turtle stand, which beats back waves of heat with smoothies and shaved ice. A beach volleyball court enables sets and spikes with complimentary balls, but guests must provide their own slow-motion high-fives. The park hosts frequent events, including its Sizzlin' Summer Nights, which delight families with activities such as bowling, karaoke, and eating contests each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evening.
Though Magic Waters Waterpark sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Choosing Produce
There's no worse feeling than when you buy what you assume is perfectly ripe produce only to discover it's too hard or have it dissolve into a pile of ashes in your grocery bag. Here are some tips for filling your basket with ready-to-eat fruits and vegetables:
- Broccoli: Drag the vegetable florets-side-up across your arm. Each should be firm enough to rid your forearm of unwanted hair.
- Cherry: You'll have to tear through the tasteless, inedible outer layer to test the cherry's high-protein, peanut-like core. Once you expose the cherry nut, swallow it and rate the pain you feel as it gradually moves down your throat. If it's less than a seven, it's too ripe.
- Apple: Smell an apple. Does it smell apple?
- Cantaloupe: Knock on it to determine if it's hollow. If it is, there's a gerbil living inside subsisting on the fruit's ripe core. Hurry up! You'll have to eat quickly to beat the gerbil.
- Pumpkin: This orange, round gourd shouldn't deflate easily, so repeatedly stab it with something sharp, such as a hunting knife or the tools doctors use to open their mail.
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