Without fingers, prostrate bodies would be easier to trace and entire hams would be more difficult to palm. Hold on to your valuable phalanges with today's Groupon: for $29, you get a basic organic manicure and spa organic pedicure at Organic Spa Intelligent Beauty in Darien (a $60 value).
The experienced nail wizards at Organic Spa Intelligent Beauty use organic products to rejuvenate the natural pliability and beauty of clients’ appendages. Compensate your feelers for years of avoiding oven mitts and fire-shoes by treating yourself to a 75-minute basic organic manicure and spa organic pedicure, designed to refresh weatherworn digits. After the manicurist massages and exfoliates hands, she coats nails in a vegan, formaldehyde- and toulence-free Priti NYC nail polish in the color and flavor of your choosing. During the pedicure, toe whisperers trim and shape toenails and then exfoliate feet and apply a soothing foot and leg mask. A final layer of lotion and deluge of polish protects and rejuvenates piggies, eliminating their urge to cry all the way home.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Home DNA Tests
The science of genetics has come a long way since 1860, when Gregor Mendel accidentally discovered genes after some of his peas came to life and begged to be put out of their misery. Now, you can take your own at-home DNA test by swabbing the inside of your cheek and placing the sample in a clay oven overnight. Evaluate your results with the following criteria:
• If your salivary sample has dissipated by the next morning, it wasn't human DNA to begin with. Consult a veterinarian.
• If your sample has blossomed into tree-like foam, the number of branches corresponds to the number of times in your life you can ride in an airplane without crashing.
• If your sample has melted into a pool of chocolate-scented fluid, then you'll live to be 100! Or die within the next week, whichever comes first.
• If your sample begins speaking to you in the voice of your paternal grandfather, don't follow its advice. Its homespun, Depression-era wisdom won't help you in today's technodriven cyber-society.
• If your sample has hardened into an egg, crack it open. There's an emerald inside!
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