Muscle pangs, if not treated in a timely manner, can evolve into chronic aches, which inevitably give way to the achy-breaks that so often shatter our hearts. Beat pain to the punch with this Groupon.
$59 for a Heated Siesta Massage ($120 Value)
An aromatherapy massage makes up 50 minutes of the 90-minute treatment, augmented by a scented steam bath, hydrotherapy, hot towels, and a soothing scalp massage.
Serenity Day Spa
Floor-to-ceiling alabaster columns span Serenity Day Spa, an idyllic oasis staffed with certified aestheticians and massage therapists adept at drawing out inborn beauty encumbered by age and pent-up stress. Pastoral murals splash their soft hues against the walls of the spa’s private rooms, where pampering professionals cocoon clients in customizable body wraps and alleviate deep aches with a wide array of massages, from traditional Swedish bodywork to holistic reiki. Personalized skin analyses prelude facials and peels designed to combat the natural effects of aging or getting a bear hug from Father Time, and a comprehensive menu of waxing services ensures that fur-ridden guests can shed superfluous strands from toes to top hats.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Ferrari Ownership
Once you ascend to the exciting and dignified world of Ferrari ownership, you’ll notice that food tastes better, the air smells sweeter, and dunks are 73% raunchier. Here are some tips that will prolong the life of your Sweet Kitten (an official slang term for Ferraris):
Give the Brake a Break: This Hot Baby (official Ferrari slang [OFS]) was made to fly, not obey traffic rules. Remember, most police officers/angry parents really only want their picture taken next to your Ferrari.
Clean the Sheen on Your Mean Machine: Don’t take this Thunder Nugget (OFS) to any two-bit car-washing place. A ride this primo should be wiped down with the fontanel of a newborn horse, or, at least, an underwear model’s birth certificate.
Full Moon = Full Vroom: If the moon is in its full phase, then pull your Phantom Tickler (OFS) out of the drive-in humidor and let her howl at the moon by revving that imported engine. Let the neighbors know who’s boss while simultaneously expelling the (now on fire) owls who like to nest in the Ferrari's gorgeous chassis.
Endorse the Horse: Ferrari makes clothes and sunglasses with its signature horse logo that you can wear to let people know that you drive one of their Velvet Grandpas (OFS).
Comment on our feelings board
