Jump to: Reviews | But Do We Really Need Hair?
Glamour physicists agree that well-cut hair retains more than 75% of your body's naturally exuding beauty vapors. Today's Groupon locks them in with a women's or men's haircut at Verto Salon for $25. Women's cuts at the chic Noble Square salon start at $45, and men's start at $35; regular prices run as high as $75 depending on the stylist, especially if you spring for their master hair artisan: the ancient and mysterious Tri-hair-atops.
Choose any one of Verto's highly trained hair wizards to clip and chisel your locks into the style of your choice. Stylists will help you customize a look to suit your face's shape (round, oval, heart-shaped, rhombezoid, trapus) while taking into account hair texture and age.
Verto earns a perfect five-star rating on Yelp and Citysearch for its friendly, follicular forensic staff, as well as its funky red salon seats, hardwood flooring, high ceilings, and tall, glamorous mirrors, which make your hair reduction a hip and happy process. The salon won't let you take your hair home with you afterward to feed the hairgoyles on your roof, but they will let you leave looking fantastic.
Stylist choice is based on availability.
Reviews
Yelpers and Citysearchers give Verto Salon a perfect five-star rating:
- Best Salon in Chicago – Latin Esq, Citysearch
- Verto Salon is beautiful, contemporary, welcoming, AND they offer fabulous services. – Smidge4u, Citysearch
- Great service! Bevarages [sic] and little treats are offered which is always a plus. This is now my regular spot ;) – undeci2886, Citysearch
But Do We Really Need Hair?
Short answer? Yes. Slightly longer answer for Pauline? Yes, Pauline.
You see, hair is more than the fabled window to the soul. Human head hair begins to form as early as the wombastic stage of pregnancy, when a developing baby (also known as a zygote or mooshmallow) begins to develop a fine coating of peach fuzz that keeps it warm and confident, as well as serving as a sort of forest home for symbiotic babymites who live on developing fetuses. These mites protect the fetus from invasive species such as like Asian micro-carp and unintentionally swallowed spark plugs.
Once the baby is born, the top-head hair begins to grow rapidly in its new oxygen-rich environment and must be immediately trimmed by the maternity barber. This is called "cutting the umbilical." Do you remember having your umbilical cut as a baby? Of course you do.
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