The deal is on!
A laser is a like a Zamboni for the skin, buffing it smooth so skin cells can play unimpeded pick-up hockey matches with food crumbs. For $99, today's Groupon gets you six laser hair-removal treatments in one area of your hirsute self from Glow Medical Spa and Salon, a value of up to $805. You can buy multiple Groupons to treat friends, family, and cold-sensitive enemies to bare beauteousness, or combine them to combat larger portions of your shaggy exterior, like your legs or stomach. An appointment is always required.
Glow's hair-despising pulse laser terminates unwanted hair quickly, comfortably, and safely using potent handcrafted photons that harmlessly pass through the skin and directly impact hair follicles for long-lasting hairlessness. Technicians can evict pesky hair from the underarms, eyebrow, ears, neck, bikini line, chin, upper lip, and pancreas. Or, by combining Groupons, full arms (3 Groupons), upper legs (2), lower legs (2), full leg (4), man back (4), full stomach (3), full Brazilian (2), and full face (2). A laser technician is on hand to administer treatments, and lasers are calibrated for empathy and small talk.
Part clean-cut doctor's office and part sleek spa, Glow's Irving location comes fully equipped to handle any hair emergency. The experienced and highly trained technicians at Glow can treat patients with a variety of skin and hair types, but results may vary depending on skin tone and the character of your hair. These professional laser whisperers will be happy to consult you on how many treatments it will take to achieve results that will leave you less wind resistant and more difficult to pin in professional wrestling matches.
Reviews
Eight Insider Pagers give Glow Medical Spa and Salon a solid three stars, while three Yelpers and numerous Citysearchers give it a near-perfect 4.5:
- The staff is always friendly the moment I walk in the door, professional, and all seem well trained on providing the customer with great service. – Deepsea29, Citysearch
- The waxing room was clean, quiet, the bed you lay on is sooo comfy and there is music playing in the background. – Kathrynm, Citysearch
- The staff were all courteous, friendly, proffessional [sic] and focused on the job at hand. – psp4u, Citysearch
Groupon Says
The Sacred Laws of Laser Combat
Once you've undergone the ritual of having part of your own body (in this case hair) painlessly removed with a laser, you will truly be ready for Laser Combat. But before you're given your shoulder-mounted death cannon and your heart is turned into a bio-hybrid InfernoTech Light Battery, you must first recite the four Sacred Laws of Laser Combat. Only then can you battle with honor, distinction, and most importantly, lasers.
Law the First: I will, under no circumstances, turn the laser against my own eyes, for this can lead to color-blindness, cool scars, even cooler eye patches, and regular blindness.
Law the Next: I will not withhold prepared Bagel Bites from my fellow combatants, or through omission conceal the existence of frozen Bagel Bites, which could be easily prepared.
Law the Third: I will not dishonor my Cyber-Sensei by accusing him of being a mildly intelligent computer program just because he cycles through the same six mantras repeatedly and frequently needs to be rebooted.
Law the Last: I will do everything in my power to vanquish my opponent or die trying, or magnanimously resign to pursue conventional employment, for this is the path of the warrior.
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