Archaeology is the science of digging up dirt to find morsels of broken ceramics and delicious bones to make history soup. Here’s a guide to executing an archaeological dig:
• Any location can be an archaeological site if you dig deep enough. Sift through your neighbor’s trash to find a wealth of information about how humans survive and where the catalogs go after you circle everything you want and leave them on your neighbor's doorstep.
• Digging for bones used to be outsourced to dogs, but ever since they embarrassed us at the dog park, humans have done our own digging. Be sure to bring a shovel, a trowel, and an insatiable need to destroy an earthworm's habitat.
• Archaeologists collect human bones to remind us that everyone in the past was a spooky skeleton until humans evolved to have flesh in the late 1950s and souls in the early 1990s.
• When an archaeologist finds a pottery fragment, he must also find the other fragments of the jar it came from and reassemble them, or risk being the only archaeologist who has never drunk mead from an ancient jar.
• Use carbon dating to find out how old fossils are. Carbon dating is a process in which scientists take fossilized carbon on a date and ask it questions about the 1970s to find out if it is old enough to remember that time period.
• If you can't find any fossils, make some of your own by putting a lizard in a tray of wet clay.