Every person should become a famous actor at least once in life, if only to experience the pleasure of donating a kidney to their own body double. Here's a guide to landing the role:
Choose Your Monologue: Monologues are short, boring speeches meant to educate the casting director. Though monologues from plays are predictable and often sound scripted, a monologue excerpted from a brother-in-law's misdemeanor trial is perfect.
Be Memorized: Unlike during a televised confession, there are no cue cards at an audition, so you must memorize your monologue. The easiest way to remember something is to use a pneumonic device, a microchip that a doctor implants in your chest cavity to send messages to your brain.
Play the Emotion: Actors rely on emotion, so make sure you have enough of them. Common emotions include: joy, fear, father anger, lust, superlust, sleep, and the cold eyes of death watching us—always watching us—from just out of reach.
Exude Confidence: When it comes down to it, acting is all about confidence. Win the audition by making constant, uninterrupted eye contact with a stagehand.