The common cold has baffled scientists and outraged doctors since the dawn of time, leading to a proliferation of less-than-perfect homemade remedies. If you're down and out with a wintertime cold, try one of these practical curatives:
Some Rest and Plenty of Water
How It Works: It doesn't. Your body is already made of water, so drinking more can lead to a dangerous oxygen overdose. And while resting, all of your body's parts, including your bloodstream, stop moving, allowing the cold to spread further.
How It Works: Chickens cannot catch or transmit human diseases, so their hearty broth inoculates you against further sickness. Start by pouring hot soup on any infected areas, but be prepared to take the soup internally if symptoms persist.
An Extra Dose of Smallpox Vaccine
How It Works: The smallpox particles contained in the vaccine will overpower and wipe out your cold. The downside is that you will now have smallpox.
The Love of a Family
How It Works: No one who is truly loved can ever get sick. If you don't have a ready supply of loving family members, most hospitals will allow you to rent some surrogate children who will swear a legal oath of fondness for only a few dollars a day.