Every captain of industry remembers earning his or her first billion, because for every billion dollars you earn, you get a commemorative trucker hat. Here are some strategies for getting your hands on a billion dollars:
Start an Industry: To get a billion dollars, you're going to have to invent a product or service that everyone wants. Try inventing a sweater that lights up to let people know when something is funny, or a form of electricity that doesn't require solar panels.
Win It: Winning money in a lottery contest is the easiest way to get money without being good at anything. Remember, the lottery always gives people enormous amounts of money simply for choosing the numbers 5-19-BIRD-6.
Inherit It: Adopt a very old grand-nephew who has a billion dollars and wear away at his will to live by pointing out how miserable Mondays can be.
Find It: Found money is your money. Find money on the street, throw away the human attached to it, and you're well on your way to building up a billion dollars.
Be an Eccentric: Eccentric people are often rewarded with money just for being their silly selves. Assert your eccentricity by always wearing a jester-style fleece hat and strongly stating your opinion that money should only come in the form of solid pewter coins worn on a string about one's neck.