The car was invented to get commuters directly from point A to point B, which made life easier but destroyed the once-thriving tourism industry of point C. Visit all points on the map with today's Groupon: for $69, you get auto-maintenance package at ADS Mobile in San Bruno (a $230 total value). The package includes:
- One interior and exterior detail (a $65 value)
- One headlight restoration service with lifetime warranty (a $120 value)
- Windshield repair for one chip (a $45 value)
The technicians at ADS Mobile buoy the appeal, performance, and safety of vehicles during two-hour detailing services that incorporate windshield-chip repair and headlight restoration. The interior and exterior detail includes a wash-and-wax process, which combats bugs, tar, and the residue from broken speed limits. Mechanics hand-rub each vehicle's chassis with plastic conditioners and carnauba wax and massage rims with specialized cleansers. Detailers also take time to clarify glass from inside and out and storm the interior by vacuum. Finally, they’ll wipe down dashes, consoles, and doors until the core of the car is more sanitary than the center of the earth.
Using a 3M-brand restoration process, ADS Mobile’s technicians touch up faded headlights to increase their night-piercing powers. The restoration includes a lifetime warranty should the headlights become dim, clouded, or infected with cataracts. Afterward, car attendants hone in on one windshield chip, patching the blemish while restoring the shield's overall strength. Unlike windshield replacements, repairs preserve cars' auto glass with their original seal and keep unrecyclable glass from overpopulating landfills and windshield graveyards. To pass the time, customers can flag down the shop’s free shuttle for a ride to The Shops at Tanforan or the nearby BART station.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to Everyman’s Classics: Animal Farm
Everyman should enjoy classic literature, which is why the Groupon Guide invented the Everyman's Classics study-guide series. This installment covers:
Animal Farm: Chapter V
Summary: All right, so at this point the animals have been running Animal Farm for a while. This one horse, Mollie, gets treats and pets and ribbons from a neighbor farmer who is a man (not an animal), so she leaves to work on his farm instead of Animal Farm.
Meanwhile, the rest of the hilarious talking animals are arguing about whether they should build a windmill like Snowball the pig says or to not do that like Napoleon the pig says (note: Napoleon is also the name of an important man from France). So they argue and stuff and the animals seem like they want the windmill. But then Napoleon calls in all these dogs he’s been secretly raising and they come in and are big and scary and the animals are scared even though I’m pretty sure a horse could beat a dog in fights. The dogs chase away Snowball and Napoleon is like, “Basically, I’m in charge now and communism is flawed.”
The pigs explain to the animals that it is good that Napoleon is in charge and not bad and also Snowball was a bad pig. The horse named Boxer who always says “I will work harder” also starts saying “Napoleon is always right.” The animals continue to work because that is how they get food and the dogs are scary (even though, seriously, horses are strong [also donkeys can kick pretty hard]).
Analysis: Having recently discovered that there is no symbolism in this book, scholars agree that this chapter is particularly unsymbolic. It is well documented that walking, talking animals fall under Jungian archetypes of “the priceless” and “the adorable.” Scholars also agree that they are more excited for the later chapters when the pigs wear top hats and other human clothes.
Important Quote: “Nine enormous dogs wearing brass-studded collars came bounding into the barn. The animals cowered in fear and did not have an all-out, no-limits brawl with the dogs even though this would have been awesome and worthy of being put on a video website if such a thing ever exists.”
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