Scientists agree that the only reason adults have children is so they have a socially acceptable reason to visit amusement parks, eat at novelty pizza arcades, and see movies with Shreks in them. Put some fun in the oven with today's kid-friendly Groupon: for $10, you get unlimited access to both the Wow! Factory and ropes course, one game of mini golf, and 10 arcade tokens at Adventure Landing in Greece (up to a $21 value).
The boundless activities at Adventure Landing divert scampering legs and clasping hands of all ages with rousing, interactive entertainment. Throughout the three-story Wow! Factory, 9,000 foam balls explode from geysers and cannons, padding the scurrying feet that jump across the play land’s bridges and burrow under its web crawls. A giant slide descends the entire structure, swiftly transporting bodies to new stations or emergency Freemason meetings. Unlimited access to the new ropes course lets suspended, harnessed climbers swing 18 feet off the ground as they maneuver past various planks, trek expansive crossings, and shift through a jungle of ropes.
Putters and their golf balls embark on a miniature journey through one of three mini-golf courses, graded easy, medium, and hard, that boast 18 treacherous holes apiece, challenging swingers with obstacles such as caves, bridges, tunnels, and half-solved quadratic equations. Technological temptations pepper the arcade, which contains more than 100 interactive ticket-redeeming games for token wielders to tackle. Late-night revelers can take advantage of Adventure Landing’s midnight closing on Fridays and Saturdays.
Though Adventure Landing sometimes offers discounted prices online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Fairy-Tale Survival
Such modern perils as computer viruses and man-eating lightning might endanger the lives of today, but they can't hold a beef-tallow candle to the terrors of yesteryear. If you find yourself transported back in time by a bolt of radioactive lightning or trapped within the pages of a cursed children's menu, consult these timeless tips for fairy-tale survival:
Do not become a father: Fairy tales are killing grounds for biological parents, especially single fathers. If you do find yourself in the role of unmarried progenitor, remarry immediately—children need a stepmother figure in their lives to help them step in the right direction. Consider asking out that woman from deep in the woods, the one who's always clutching a glistening too-red apple in a halo of green smoke. Her constant cackling is sure to warm any heart and home.
Do not reveal your name: In the fairy-tale world, as in junior high, having an embarrassing name robs you of all your power—just ask Rumpelstiltskin, who gambled his secret identity as collateral to win a newborn. To avoid eventual discovery, embarrassment, and spontaneous explosion from stomping your foot, try acquiring a fairy-tale baby the old-fashioned way—by looking on any doorstep, riverbank, or oversize toadstool. But remember the axiom—babies are cooing, 8-pound death warrants.
Do not talk to animals: Even the ones that claim to grant wishes are just messing with you. Besides, your first and only wish would probably be to eat a wish-granting animal anyhow.
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