People go to great lengths to achieve weight-loss goals, with plans that always seem to include a strict helium diet administered by a dirigible pilot. Expurgate unwanted weight without floating away with today's Groupon to Purely You in Lakewood. Choose between the following options:
For $999, you get an Aqualipo water-based liposuction procedure for one small area (a $3,500 value). Choose from the following areas:
- Chin
- Upper abdomen
- Lower abdomen
For $1,499, you get an Aqualipo water-based liposuction procedure for one large area (a $5,500 value). Choose from the following areas:
- Love handles
- Outer thighs
- Inner thighs
- Hips
- Arms
- Bra line
Purely You's licensed physician, Clark Zimmerman, sculpts clients' figures with Aqualipo, a water-based fat-removal system that sneaks under the skin to steal away lipid collections from designated bodily geography. During each procedure, Dr. Zimmerman photographs, marks, and sketches abstract self-portraits on the client's problem area before applying local anesthetic and cutting a small incision to reach the fat layer. Pulsing water jets then flush out fatty tissue with a sterile fluid, evicting lipids without stressing surrounding muscles, nerves, or other tissues. Procedures require no general anesthesia and typically last 30–45 minutes, leaving most patients ready for discharge 15 minutes after completion. Clients can expect more instant results and less intense side effects—such as swelling, bruising, and uncontrollably transmitting ham-radio signals—than those caused by conventional liposuction procedures.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Deli Meats for Beginners
If you're new to the deli counter, you may be tempted to buy a dozen pounds of every salted and cured meat in the glass case. Instead, slowly introduce these lunchtime favorites to your taste buds and digestive system by trying them in the proper order:
1. Turkey: This opaque fowl is the perfect cold cut for beginners because it tastes like absolutely nothing.
2. Roast Beef: A great intermediate meat, roast beef is just turkey dyed brown and flavored with bouillon.
3. Salami: Even the delicatessen's slicing-machine operators (called "slice boys" or "slice females") do not know which animal produces salami.
4. Pastrami: For experts only! Sound like a pro when you order pastrami by pronouncing it correctly—the R, M, and I are all silent.
5. Liverwurst: This disgustingly named meat is neither liver nor the worst—it’s actually made from pressed vegetables and is the second worst meat, after marrowloaf.
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