In 2004, an independent study proved contemporary pole-based exercises more effective than 1920s pole sitting, more energizing than pole-vaulting, and more sensual than polenta. Unleash your inner exhibitionist with today's Groupon to Aradia Fitness or Brass Vixens. Choose between two Brass Vixens' Toronto locations (downtown or in East Toronto, or a Brass Belles location in Brampton, and three options:
- For $35, you get a "Teaser" pole-dancing intro class and five drop-in classes (a $124.30 value, including HST).
- For $39, you get a four-week Pole Basics dancing class, which covers the essentials of pole-dancing and sensual movement (a $111.87 value, including HST).
- For $199, you get a one-hour pole-dancing party for up to 12 people (a $420 value).
Aradia Fitness and Brass Vixens welcome women of every age and fitness level with a supportive environment for exploring their sexy side while simultaneously getting a total-body cardio workout. A single pole-dancing intro class (a $25 value), the five drop-in classes (an $85 value), and four weekly Pole Basics sessions (a $99 value) teach essential sensual pole work and don't require any previous knowledge or skills. Each small class combines elements of ballet, yoga, and striptease (though you won't be shedding any leotards or turtlenecks in class) to strengthen cores, tone muscles, increase flexibility, and keep participants limber. As the seductress embedded deep within makes her way to the surface, dancers engage rarely used muscles, sometimes resulting in day-after pangs of soreness, sudden Facebook friending of said muscles, and a confident new saunter.
Group parties (a $420 value/hour) similarly spicy up gatherings of up to 12 friends or 6 friends and their accompanying spirit animals with empowering floor and pole routines. Gal gaggles who desire a less invested workout can opt for a fitness-free event that stresses standing dance moves, lap dances, wall work, and pole work. The only requirements for all classes are gym- or yoga-like attire and bare feet to make your first firm step toward becoming a music-video vixen or reverse-firefighter a reality.
Aradia Fitness in Brampton is now named Brass Belles.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Detecting Fishiness
When detectives say that something "smells fishy," they aren't referring to the effects of trimethylaminuria, a rare metabolic disorder that causes a person to give off a fish-like odor. Instead, they're noting that their suspicion has been aroused by dubious behaviour. Complete this short test to see if you've got a policeman’s sixth sense for suspicion:
1. Three bodies, including a husband and wife, lie dead in a messy bedroom. Was it:
A. A crime of passion?
B. A blackmail gone deadly?
C. Or, did the coroner's report fail to mention one important detail? All the bodies were bears! And the bedroom was a forest! It was a simple case of nature's unforgiving cruelty all along.
2. The last person to see out-of-town stranger Lydia alive was the shady mechanic with a history of shouting at town meetings. Did he:
A. Kidnap her and hide the body?
B. Knock her unconscious and sell her liver?
C. Or, did he deliver her to unscrupulous ornithologists? Because Lydia was a rare tropical bird the entire time! Curse you, nature, for your cruel beauty drives normal men insane!
3. The local locksmith's tax returns don't add up. Was it:
A. A simple case of tax fraud?
B. Extortion?
C. Or, were the "tax returns" actually a roving den of cobras, sneaking into an office building's air-conditioning vents waiting to drop on unsuspecting travel agents simply because their cruel instincts left them no other choice? Why, nature, why? Why must you test the bounds of morality in so deadly a fashion? Curse you!
Your Score:
- If you answered A, then you are entirely wrong. You don't know anything about crime.
- If you answered B, then have you even heard of crime? If you haven't, it's like when you follow the law, but backward.
- If you answered C, then congratulations. You are now a deputized police officer in all 10 provinces.
Comment on our feelings board
