Like the pages of paperback books, teeth start out white, turn yellow with age, and become covered with marginal notes about the 19th century. Erase the effects of time and boredom with today's Groupon to AZ Dental. Choose between the following options:
For $75, you get a dental-cleaning package (a $565 value), which includes:
- Two exams (a $99 value each)
- Two cleanings (a $108 value each)
- One x-ray (a $151 value each)
For $129, you get a one-hour in-office Zoom whitening treatment (a $600 value).
The experienced dentists and hygienists at AZ Dental scrub mouth spikes with skilled hands and brighten bites with Zoom! whitening treatments. In less than an hour, specialists snap candid x-rays and search for decay, tumors, cysts, and bone loss. Next, doctors spelunk through face caves to detect any signs of cancer before evaluating gums, checking old fillings and crowns, and hunting for decay with special instruments such as probes and palm-size oboes. Hygienists scrape away tartar and remove plaque, preventing bacteria colonies from developing into bacteria nation-states. Lastly, tusks relax while tooth-polishers scour their surfaces and remove excess plaque. An appointment for one cleaning, one exam, and the x-rays should be scheduled within three months of purchase, and the second exam and cleaning should follow six months later.
In less than an hour, Zoom! whitening treatments remove the stains caused by coffee, tea, tobacco, and compulsive lying. While clients listen to music or watch TV, dental specialists apply a hydrogen-peroxide gel to defaced fangs before shining the Zoom! light into the inky oral darkness. This light breaks down the hydrogen peroxide, allowing oxygen to enter enamel and dentin, brightening teeth up to eight shades. Patients may notice sensitivity during and after the treatment, but this sensation typically fades and is replaced by nostalgia for dental treatments past.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Homecoming Court
Homecoming is a yearly high-school football game, during which the person who gets the most votes wins the game and becomes king or queen of their classmates. Rise to the top of your secondary-education feudal system with these helpful hints:
Garner a Nomination: To be nominated, you'll need a letter of recommendation from a British royal, a lock of hair from a pure-hearted blond child, and a friend who can turn in your nomination, because it's totally weird to nominate yourself.
Choose a Running Mate: Choose wisely, as homecoming kings and queens must appear as a united front when ruling on important issues, such as prom reform and a student's right to choose where his or her locker is located.
Campaign: The people are more likely to vote for someone they know, so get to know everyone. The best way to do this is to hang out in the bathroom, traditionally the school’s most dependable source of toilets.
Address the Crowd: Thank the people for the offer to join their ruling class, but ultimately reject the title as a vestige of a defunct, antidemocratic autocracy and a conflict with your band practice.
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