Today's Groupon hugs your food zone with arms made out of breakfast potatoes. For $10, you’ll get $20 of fare and liquid fare at Bonnie Ruth’s Café and Catering, a quaint munchery favored for its fresh pastries and cozy qualities that make it perfect for taking a date or Michael Rapaport.
Glossy hardwood floors and sugar-soaked aromas reminiscent of a jolly grandmother’s cottage greet guests upon arrival. On weekends, treat yourself to the café’s brunch menu before you start a long day of constructing amusement park rides. You’ll find a well-edited selection of egg offerings, flaky crêpes, caramel-drenched french toasts, and a la carte options. Satisfy a sweet tooth with a daily and seasonal selection of gourmet desserts, including raspberry crème brûlée, carrot cake, and, on weekends, caramel cinnamon rolls ($3.95–$4.75).
Bonnie Ruth’s substantial leafy offerings will challenge the way you view salads. Try the pear and goat cheese, zinfandel-poached pears, goat cheese, and pecans bedded atop baby greens and tossed with lavender honey vinaigrette ($8.50). Bonnie Ruth’s sandwiches include options for both meat-lovers and meat-haters like hot vegetarian ($8.95), grilled chicken pesto ($8.75), and classic ham and cheddar ($8.50 warm, $7.50 cold). Bonnie Ruth’s also features a modest wine, beer, and martini list.
History of Brunch
Brunch was first invented in 1998 in the Netherlands by Nobel Prize-winning physicist Gerardus ‘t Hooft. Hooft was attempting to elucidate the quantum structure of electroweak interactions when he accidentally stumbled on a meal that could be eaten around noon.
Unsure of Brunch’s effect on humans, Hooft first tested his discovery on baboons, who rejected both the meal’s timing and its contents. Driven mad by his failures, Hooft’s research took a terrifying and irresponsible turn: he began testing Brunch on his own family without their consent. Hooft, badly needing funding to continue his work, then sold his research to several rogue states. In 2006, Zimbabwean strongman Robert Mugabe was put on trial for imposing Brunch on his own people.
Today, 183 UN Member Nations, not including the United States, have signed the Kyoto Protocol, which in addition to combating global warming, also bans the use of Brunch. For now, Brunch can still be legally obtained in the United States, though it is limited to military applications. If you have military clearance, you can try brunch at Bonnie Ruth’s.
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