Aside from wearing boldly lettered sandwich boards, the human body communicates most clearly and efficiently through its feelers and its eyebrows. Today's Groupon gives eyebrows the customization they seek: for $40, you get eyebrow threading and a facial at Brows R Us in Monroeville (an $82 value).

Featured in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review for its hair-removal expertise, Brows R Us employs the ancient Indian technique of threading to eliminate unwanted follicular fuzz. This organic method shapes eye accents by using special cotton threads and nimble fingers to quickly remove brow bristles from their roots, leaving frontispieces as smooth and refined as a shrink-wrapped ballroom dancer ($12).

Brows R Us' facial targets specific epidermal concerns determined during an initial skin analysis, where skin technicians test skin type and pliability when smooshed by a legion of grandmas ($70). Employing a personalized mask of herbal ingredients, a friendly aesthetician detoxifies flesh emoticons, extracts blackheads, and exfoliates dead skin into oblivion. Facials also include a steam-vapor treatment and soothing décolleté massage, as well as a parting gift of home skincare advice.