All hamburgers start out as ground meat, most commonly beef, although exotic substitutions such as lamb and ostrich have risen in popularity in regions where high barometric pressures can cause a cow's thin membrane to rapidly expand and explode, not unlike a marshmallow in the microwave. What are some other things you might not know about these noble manatees of the land?
- All cows are born semiliterate, but they lack the ambition to make the difficult transition to "chapter books."
- A male cow is called a bull for its resemblance to the childlike bailiff portrayed by Richard Moll on the hit sitcom Night Court.
- The methane produced by cows is responsible for 41% of the funniest greenhouse gases.
- Cow is actually an acronym for the government-bestowed designation "Creature of Width."
- As well as possessing four stomachs, cows also possess four hearts, making them easy pickings for smooth-talking Casanovas rolling into town looking to literally get the milk for free.