Now that movies have said all that there is to say about the human condition, filmmakers have begun telling stories about animals. Here's a guide to some common animal-based movie plots:
Large Water Mammal Overcomes Obstacles: Dolphins and whales are constantly being threatened by bandana-clad fishermen who want to turn their rubbery, waterproof skin into raincoats. The protagonistic water mammal must enlist the help of an attentive child or teenage rebel to tie the fishermen's boots together using man's greatest strength—his fingers.
Dog Plays Sport: Everyone from golden retrievers to french bull poodles have been appearing in movies to show off their ability to slam dunk, pole vault, and win Olympic gold for shooting and skiing at the same time. These cinematic icons challenge the stereotype that dogs are only good for wearing sunglasses.
Cat Talks Sassy: Cats have opinions on everything—from eating to sleeping to being called "less sexy lions" by felinologists. In this type of movie plot, cats finally scratch back!
Mouse Lands Dream Job: The smaller an animal is, the more likely it is to speak in a movie. Movie mice use their ability to speak to better themselves, often landing jobs as chefs, tailors, or substitute teachers in schools with very low standards for substitute teachers.