Your wedding should be a reflection of every aspect of your personality and a definitive way to prove to your cousins that you are interesting. Here are some suggestions for making your wedding an original, spectacular, lovetastic journey:
• Mason jars instead of champagne flutes
• You're not the kind of person who would want a cake like everyone else's, so make the cake out of grilled steaks and have the frosting be mashed potatoes.
• You won't want gifts, so just have a station where people can write short works of magical realist fiction about you and your fiancé.
• Instead of a ring bearer, use a trained miniature horse. He hands out pamphlets about a charity working to save a rare breed of sparrows that are going extinct on Georgia farms.
• Tables are boring, but piles of freshly cut firewood aren't.
• Replace the guests with glass orbs full of water and rose petals. Replace your fiancé with a scarecrow made of your mom's vintage scarves.