Massage was developed by NASA to help astronauts to cope with edgy Tang-induced sugar highs, lack of ESPN, and predatory aliens stowed in the hangar bay. Achieve its soothing effects outside the soul-crushing abyss of outer space with today’s Groupon to World of Health. Choose between the following options:
For $139, you get a couples massage package (a $339 total value) that includes:
- 90-minute couples massage (a $328 value)
- Champagne and strawberries (an $11 value)
For $169, you get a couples spa package (a $606 total value) that includes:
- 90-minute couples massage (a $328 value)
- 60-minute facial for each person (a $267 value)
- Champagne and strawberries (an $11 value)
The muscle molders at World of Health knead knots and destress tendons through a variety of Swedish, myofascial, and deep-tissue massage techniques. As couples lie side by side like twin Supermans or tomorrow’s socks, licensed therapists warm skin surfaces with long, gliding Swedish strokes, then delve below superficial layers to dissolve long-stored aches with deep-tissue massage. In addition, myofascial-release techniques can help muscles escape from the motion-constricting snare of connective tissues and clingy shadows. Soothing aromatherapy fragrances waft through the air throughout the experience, wafting the bouquet of essential oils into the nostrils. The bodily coddling spreads to the face during 60-minute facials designed to refurbish skin and inadequately indented dimples. Between effervescent sips of bubbly, couples can nibble on sweet, ruby-hued strawberries as tension fades far from memory with each relaxing rub. Though World of Health sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Writing an Urban Legend
Everyone secretly wants to believe in scary stories that might be true. Indulge your friends' gullibility with these tips to crafting the perfect urban legend:
• Make sure the story takes place somewhere nearby, on a similar night—ideally exactly 100 years ago to the night. Or on the devil’s birthday.
• Always include an animal that turns out to be a different animal or an animal where one does not belong—like a dog that is actually a rat, or an alligator in the bathroom of the Museum of Alligator Safety.
• Tweak the details—it's only a few letters’ difference to change "gardener" to "murderer," and only a small white lie to change "was valued by the community" to "possessed double hook hands and a thirst for marrow."
• Always carry "proof"—this can be a monster's tooth carved from soap, a faded newspaper article created in Photoshop, or a scrap of the victim's clothing that is actually just a scrap of clothing you ripped off a terrified hiker you chased through the woods.
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