Gaining access to private clubs can be a daunting task for those who can't trace their lineage to the club's founders or hide themselves inside the mounted head of an inconspicuous elk. Gain exclusive access without an elaborate plan with today's Groupon to Delta Sky Club. Choose between the following options:
- For $25, you get a one-visit pass (a $50 value).
- For $89, you get a five-visit punch card (a $250 value).
An exclusive oasis sheltered from the bustle and noise of airport throngs, each Delta Sky Club lets guests sit comfortably while sipping complimentary beverages, flipping through newspapers such as the New York Times, and tasting free chocolate-chunk cookies and snacks. Each pass grants a guest one-time access to one of over 50 worldwide lounges, giving travelers access to diverse amenities and respite from cramped gate seating, overpriced snack stands, and moving sidewalks slicked with wet cement. As thumbs navigate WiFi waves on a touch-screen or grip the folds of a fresh broadsheet paper, mouths can feast on a tray of free snacks such as cheese, crackers, and cookies while tongues savor the pleasant bite of classic cocktails. Passes grant club access on the passenger's date of travel, regardless of their airline carrier.
At select clubs, members can enjoy additional business services and showers. Those redeeming their passes at a self-service bar lounge must be 21 or older or accompanied by a parent, guardian, or hovering spirit guide.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Substitute Teaching
Substitute teachers come to school when they learn a new fact that they just have to share with someone or when regular teachers run out of mental health. Here are some tips for taking over a class for a day:
Look the Part: Dress like a full-time teacher. If you don’t know how a teacher dresses because you never attended school, just wear a long-sleeve tank top, pants you can think in, and running shoes for chasing down students' dreams and turning them into more realistic dreams.
Write Your Name: Students today have exciting names such as Stycxx and K'ydyn, making it impossible for them to remember your boring, vowel-bloated moniker. Write your real name on the chalkboard, or simply go by "Sub Sandwich."
Give Them Options: Let your students choose between watching a movie and not watching a movie. Anyone who chooses not to watch a movie must stay late after school and watch two movies.
Take Control: Don't let the class get out of control. Before speaking, students should raise their hands, and before thinking, they should be reminded that their opinions are smaller than those of their teacher.
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