Although blurry vision makes everyday life seem soft and romantic, it also means there's a good chance you've just proposed to a tree. Sharpen your senses with today's Groupon to Diamond Vision. Choose between the following options:
- For $1,899, you get LASIK or PRK surgery for both eyes (a $4,000 value). This option is valid at any Diamond Vision location.
- For $2,900, you get a bladeless Intralase LASIK surgery for both eyes (a $5,800 value). This option is only valid at Diamond Vision's Manhattan, Long Island, and Paramus locations.
Diamond Vision's eye-wise doctors adjust unfocused socket balls with LASIK, a technology that tackles nearsightedness, farsightedness, and astigmatism. After a microkeratome blade forms a miniscule flap in the cornea, an excimer laser delivers a beam of photons to restructure the cornea and improve its communications with the retina. After the laser departs and shuts the flap behind it, the slit seals and heals with the simple wave of a pinky and an afterthought about the future. The entire procedure takes about three minutes, and many people are able to drive or harpoon a moving piñata without a vision aid the next day. Alternatively, PRK applies the laser's sculptural powers directly to the surface of the cornea, with no need to cut a flap. Though the recovery period tends to be longer, some patients prefer PRK for its preservation of more corneal tissue, greater ease of follow-up procedures, and shorter acronym.
Patients can further customize their corneal makeover by opting for the Intralase LASIK procedure, which improves night vision, allowing patients to find their way in the dark without having to leave the refrigerator door open all night. One's candidacy for either procedure will be determined at a free initial consultation; those who do not qualify for the surgery will receive a refund of the Groupon price.
Diamond Vision's fabled clientele includes a menagerie of celebrities such as Tiki Barber, Mickey Rourke, and Tito Nieves, the reigning king of salsa. Decades of research, development, and practice have refined LASIK's eye-mending technology, so customers can rest assured knowing a career in dart throwing or seeing around corners is not only possible, it's definitely possible.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Scientific Ghost Hunting
Before the discovery of electricity, ghost hunters had to rely on intuition, dubious séance guides, and that unmistakable “ghost smell.” What modern equipment is now available to science-minded spirit seekers?
• Fright-vision goggles
• Five-hour bravery pills
• Infrared vengefulness scanners
• Google Murders
• Machine that converts television static into directions to where treasure is buried
• Ghost detector
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