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Merge the best aspects of being a firefighter and a circus acrobat with today's Groupon. For $20, you get an hour and forty-five minute drop-in pole dancing class at Divine Movement: Pole Dancing Fitness for Women. Your body will flex with all new muscular potential and your ability to impress coworkers will shoot through the roof, puncturing your duct work, which will need to be repaired by an experienced HVAC technician.
Whether you're looking to spicy up your love life or toney up your curves, Divine Movement will have you arching your back like a sexy long-haired she-wolf, not to be confused with the long-haired fainting goat, which is really more cute than sexy. Build confidence and muscle tone under the tutelage of owner Angi Cardwell and her divine staff. Pole dancing combines elements of ballet, yoga, and striptease (though you won't be shedding clothes in your class) to strengthen your core and keep you as limber as a newspaper soaked in expeller-pressed canola oil. As the seductress embedded deep within makes her way to the surface, you'll engage rarely used muscles, sometimes resulting in day-after pangs of soreness and a confident saunter.
More exciting and more pole-oriented than bouncing a tennis ball against the garage, pole dancing will turn all of the poles in your abode into shiny opportunities to scoff in the face of physics and tantalize strangers who came in through the first floor window you left open when you were cooking with garlic. Plus you'll learn moves that will get you into and out of most highway speeding tickets. Class meets Thursdays and Fridays from 4 p.m. to 5:45 p.m..
Reviews
Yelpers give Divine Movement a perfect five stars alongside glowing customer testimonials:
- I think this is one of the most motivating classes any woman of any age can take in the Seattle area (or anywhere really)! -- Cherene R., Yelp
- I've been taking pole classes here for over a year and I absolutely LOVE IT. The instructors are amazing and the class itself is out of this world. -- Dejia B., Yelp
- It’s so much fun. I look forward to it every week. I feel stronger, more empowered as a woman. -- Anna, Testimonial
Groupon Says
Better than a Cold Shower
Many people who take pole-dancing classes are eager to find new ways to express their sensuality and impress a partner. Some moves, however, are designed to end the evening early and protect your boudoir from unwanted exes and stubborn first dates:
- The Rotisserie Spin: Consuming entire roast chicken while clinging to the pole
- The Sultry Snape: Any move performed to a Harry Potter audio book
- The Up-Close-and-Personal: Dance is performed four inches from recipient, while you recite his or her entire medical history
- The Cosmonaut: Mechanical failure of pole causes a sudden hull-breach, imminent implosion, and a string of creative Russian swearing
- The Pet-Threaten: Self-explanatory
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