Prior to dental technology, humans were forced to shine their teeth with fleets of flea-driven miniature zambonis. Follow a more elegant brightening strategy with today's Groupon: for $39, you get an at-home teeth-whitening kit from Elite Brights online (a $299 value). This Groupon includes tax and shipping.

Elite Brights’ at-home advanced teeth-whitening kit lets users buff molars and blanch incisors without swapping plush recliners for dentist chairs. After a routine tooth brushing, flossing, and fang sharpening, customers apply the kit’s pale-making gel to a plastic whitening tray. They then install the tray securely in the mouth and fit an LED light against the front teeth to activate the gel’s hydrogen peroxide cleaning agent, brightening chompers without harming preexisting dental fixtures, such as permanent harmonicas. The kit comes with enough gel for 2–5 whitening treatments, allowing clients to spread their dental purification over time.