Prior to dental technology, humans were forced to shine their teeth with fleets of flea-driven miniature zambonis. Follow a more elegant brightening strategy with today's Groupon: for $39, you get an at-home teeth-whitening kit from Elite Brights online (a $199 value). This Groupon includes tax and shipping.
Elite Brights’ at-home advanced teeth-whitening kit lets users buff molars and blanch incisors without swapping plush recliners for dentist chairs. After a routine tooth brushing, flossing, and fang sharpening, customers apply the kit’s pale-making gel to a plastic whitening tray. They then install the tray securely in the mouth and fit an LED light against the front teeth to activate the gel’s hydrogen peroxide cleaning agent, brightening chompers without harming preexisting dental fixtures, such as permanent harmonicas. The kit comes with enough gel for two to five whitening treatments, allowing clients to spread their dental purification over time.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: the New Year’s Eve Ball Drop
People all over the world celebrate New Year's Eve by watching the ball drop in Times Square, and the ball itself has a come a long way from the papier mâché wad engulfed in flames that rang in the new year back in 1904. Here's a look at today's cutting-edge ball:
Size: The ball is a scale model of earth, so its size changes every year to match the diminishing diameter of a planet slowly being trampled by its inhabitants.
Material: The ball is constructed from the finest Waterford crystal and held together by several hundred Pepsi stickers.
Contents: Traditionally, the ball is filled with:
• One animal from every species
• Children's letters to Santa
• All the extra money that the year's millionaires are tired of
• The oft-expunged choose-your-own-adventure Bible chapters
Speed: The ball is actually descending imperceptibly slowly throughout the entire year.
Reaction: As soon as the ball reaches its base, millions of people all over the world instantly begin weeping inconsolably in memory of the year that just died.
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