Like babies, cars are cursed with the inability to tell their owners when they are soiled, often resulting in peeling paint, rusty rims, and embarrassing rashes. Seek the intervention of a car-whisperer with today's Groupon: for $39, you get an express mini detail from Empire Auto Detailers in Beltsville (up to a $135 value). This Groupon is also valid for mobile service for customers within 25 miles of the facility.

Empire Auto Detailers' meticulous technicians transform dirty cars into gleaming driveway trophies with 100% biodegradable soaps, glossy shines, and protective waxes. During the approximately one-hour express mini detail, hand-powered towels agilely prowl the car's outer surface, shooing away dirt by resiliently scrubbing at it or inviting it over to view slides from a recent antiquing expedition. After a careful hand dry, the techs duck down to scrub the wheels, scoop out the wheel wells, and dress the tires. Meanwhile, vacuum-brandishing cleaners explore the interior crevices and ashtrays, tidy up the trunk, and crystallize mirrors and glass with a streak-free shine. Sanitizing towels stroll along dusty dashboards, then spin around center-console innards and dip into cup holders. Technicians punctuate the makeover by gilding the body with a high-gloss spray wax that leaves the wet-look finish of a freshly polished surfing trophy.

Empire Auto Detailers' self-sufficient mobile vans groom customers' cars from the comfort of their own driveway, parking spot, or bunk bed, and on-site patrons may enjoy cable TV and free WiFi in the waiting lounge.