While traditional glasses are a handsomeness-destroying nuisance worn out of necessity rather than choice, many eccentric types have put a twist on the formula to come up with a popular variety of "novelty" spectacles. Which one is right for you?
Shutter Shades: You can see out, but no one else can see in, thus preserving for your future wife the honor of looking into your eyes for the first time.
Groucho Glasses: Styled after a popular comedian born in 1890, the world's last remaining pair of Groucho glasses will be recovered in 2029 by a boy rooting around in his grandfather's attic. The boy will briefly try them on, turning to his cousin to say "Hey, Jason, look—I'm a mustache man."
Dangling Slinky Eyeballs: These are gross, man—get 'em outta here!
Oversized Sunglasses: If regular sunglasses send the message "I'm here to party," then these oversized versions loudly declare "I am the party." If you're not wearing a pair of these right now, go back to bed and try life again tomorrow.