The deal is on!
The expression “staking a claim” was originally coined during the Oklahoma Land Rush, when pioneers would indicate the acreage they wanted by surrounding it with a fence made of filet mignon. Claim your steak in beef property with today’s Groupon: for $35, you get four T-bone steaks (an $80 value) from Gourmet Pasture Beef, which is located in Springfield and delivers to homes in Davidson and surrounding counties free of charge with your Groupon. Groupon orders require three weeks of advance notice.
Gourmet Pasture Beef provides customers with a large selection of grass-fed and finished beef products that are leaner and healthier than beef from grain-fed cattle. Carnivores can enjoy the same quality meat supplied to a dozen high-end Nashville restaurants from the comfort of their own yurts with four tasty T-bone steaks (a $20 value each). Because grass-fed beef tends to cook faster than grain-fed beef, Gourmet Pasture Beef recommends that you sear it slowly and steadily to avoid overcooking. When grilled to perfection, these cuts of cow liven up a wide variety of fun home occasions, such as steak-eating competitions, neighborhood block parties/Wicker Man sacrifices, and simulated battles between Civil War and Star Wars re-enactors.
Gourmet Pasture Beef sows its walking beef seeds in lush, high-quality pastures that are eventually harvested to deliver juicy cuts of naturally tender steaks that melt in your mouth like oobleck. Spicy up your backyard cookout with some tasty cow crops courtesy of Gourmet Pasture Beef’s grass-fed empire.
Groupon Says
Hi, Steaks!
Whether you're staking a claim on a rich vein of Steak-umms® or apologizing for the mistake of staking out a stakeholder of Stakey's Pumpkin Farm, who you suspected was a vampire in need of staking, steaks are a part of our daily life as well as our vocabulary. Now you can learn the vocabulary of steaks with our handy ordering guide:
Medium-Rare: This indicates that you want your steak to be made from an animal that is rare, but not too rare, such as the leopard shark or the gaur.
Rare: This tells your meal-mates that you don't want to eat steaks too frequently, preferring to save them for special occasions, such as the birth of your first son, Amiga, or finally telling your boss where he can shove his beautiful head of silver hair.
Medium-Cool: This lets everyone know that you want to eat your steak while viewing Haskell Wexler's seminal vérité-style docu-drama Medium Cool, in which he incorporates both scripted and documentary footage to tell the story of the 1968 Democratic National Convention and subsequent election of President Zappa.
Put Wings on It!: This indicates that you wish for your steak to be brought to you quickly, or alternatively, that you are ordering the chicken.
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