Flowers are our planet's way of reassuring people and animals that no matter how many winters the earth endures, it still has the virility to grow its own hair. Comb the planet's beautiful leafy tresses with today's Groupon: for $25, you get $50 worth of plants and gardening supplies at Groundcovers Greenhouse and Nursery.
A neighborhood garden center, Groundcovers Greenhouse fills its shelves with fleets of flora, gardening gear, and outdoor décor. Annuals ($3.49+) and perennials ($2.99+) learn to share soil despite age differences, and vegetables and herbs ($2.99+) imagine the successful salads and salsas they'll someday grow up to be. Meanwhile, pottery and potting soil ($4.99+) putter around the planthouse looking for eligible stems, and fountains ($59.99+) spit water at dog statues, stone-hewn frogs, and thirsty shoppers.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Detecting Fishiness
When detectives say that something "smells fishy," they aren't referring to the effects of trimethylaminuria, a rare metabolic disorder that causes a person to give off a fish-like odor. Instead, they're noting that their suspicion has been aroused by dubious behavior. Complete this short test to see if you've got a policeman’s sixth sense for suspicion:
1. Three bodies, including a husband and wife, lie dead in a messy bedroom. Was it:
A. A crime of passion?
B. A blackmail gone deadly?
C. Or, did the coroner's report fail to mention one important detail? All the bodies were bears! And the bedroom was a forest! It was a simple case of nature's unforgiving cruelty all along.
2. The last person to see out-of-town stranger Lydia alive was the shady mechanic with a history of shouting at town meetings. Did he:
A. Kidnap her and hide the body?
B. Knock her unconscious and sell her liver?
C. Or, did he deliver her to unscrupulous ornithologists? Because Lydia was a rare tropical bird the entire time! Curse you, nature, for your cruel beauty drives normal men insane!
3. The local locksmith's tax returns don't add up. Was it:
A. A simple case of tax fraud?
B. Extortion?
C. Or, were the "tax returns" actually a roving den of cobras, sneaking into an office building's air-conditioning vents waiting to drop on unsuspecting travel agents simply because their cruel instincts left them no other choice? Why, nature, why? Why must you test the bounds of morality in so deadly a fashion? Curse you!
Your Score:
- If you answered A, then you are entirely wrong. You don't know anything about crime.
- If you answered B, then have you even heard of crime? If you haven't, it's like when you follow the law, but backward.
- If you answered C, then congratulations. You are now a deputized police officer in all 50 states.
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