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Groupon – Redeem from Home

$24 for Monthly Love Letters for One Year ($24 Value)

$24
Buy
Sold Out
Fri Jul 20 06:59:59 UTC 2012
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In a Nutshell

A year’s worth of romance

The Fine Print

  • Expires Jan 16, 2013
  • Limit 1 per person. Groupon employees are ineligible to purchase this offer. Must be 18 or older. Customer may cancel delivery of letters at any time; upon cancellation, partial refunds will be issued to Groupon Bucks. Only the purchaser can be the recipient of the letters. First letter will be sent during first full month after redemption.
  • See the rules that apply to all deals.

Much like professionally bred mules and pay-per-view cyborg pit duels, most true love stories sadly begin with an overpaid matchmaker. Cut out the middleman and buy true love direct from the supplier with this Groupon.

$24 for One Love Letter per Month for One Year ($24 Value)

For one year, each new month will bring with it a hand-typed love letter, semi-personalized to profess undying affection for everything you are, were, and will be. Swoon as you learn more about your admirer as he or she (you choose the gender) grows less guarded and lets you into their world. One letter will even contain a lock of hair*. At the end of each month, you may begin to worry that your love has grown distant and cold, like a dying star, only to sigh with relief as a new letter arrives and the love is reaffirmed. As you cradle the correspondence against your bosom, you may find that food tastes better, birdsong rings sweet and true all around you, and the world becomes a less dismal cesspool. At the end of 12 months, the romance will end in beautiful melancholy, like the sinking of a great schooner or the last line of a poem about a sick horse. You will be saddened, yes. But your life will be all the richer for the experience.

*Hair may not be human.

Groupon

Groupon has had many great loves in its life and has always been able to articulate its feelings through the written word.

Groupon Says

Dem_teaser_cat

The Groupon Guide to: Being Class President

The president of a student council rises from among his peers to lead them and guide their school toward continued greatness. If you think you have what it takes to stand at the helm of your school, read this guide to see what it would be like to be president:

  • It’s your first day back at school after being elected president. The week of victory celebrations and speeches at local landmarks has been a whirlwind. When you finally step into Gerald High for the first time as its president, the halls look somehow narrower, your classmates' faces more nondescript.

  • You take a seat at your desk in Mrs. Witack’s pre-calc class. Are they making these chairs smaller? You don’t even have a chance to open up the Gerald High School Herald to peruse the day’s top stories before Maria Elena, your newly elected secretary, rushes in to let you know there’s an urgent call from Forest Flowers Middle School. You need to go to the office to take it right away.

  • You rush through the hallways wondering what the crisis could be. Is Forest Flowers experiencing a textbook shortage? A janitor uprising?

  • As you answer the phone, your heart is racing, but for some reason the only thing you can think to wonder is how the straps of your backpack got so heavy. You answer and your voice just sounds like a gasping breath. “Hello?” says the person on the other end. “It’s Bobby Greenblatt, Forest Flowers Middle School’s newly elected president.”

  • What could he want? To challenge your presidency? To proclaim his allegiance to Ronalda Reyes, your runner-up? Maybe she did deserve it more than you. “Hello? Mr. High-School President? Are you there? It’s Bobby. I’m just calling to say: I really look up to you.”

What will be the most important call you receive as class president?

Groupon

Reviews

  • Groupon's letters saw me through some hard times. The whole town hated me for selling them fake ambulances, but these letters made me feel loved.
    Cody Flim-Flam
  • I was in a lonely place before I started getting Groupon's letters. Each one was like a passionate night in Venice. My husband is very mad at Groupon.
    Stacy Manning