Movie stars maintain gleaming-white grins not only to look good on the red carpet but also to double as flashlights during haunted-house investigation scenes. Become your own beacon with today’s Groupon: for $68, you get an in-home Icing teeth-whitening treatment from Bling Dental (a $199 value).
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Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Choosing Your Own Adventure
Brave Sir Benneton nervously gripped his sword with the enchanted sword handle. He paused to think, "I don't like the feeling that walking into this cave gives me. I'd better pause to think."
If you want Sir Benneton to go into the cave, scroll down to II. If you don't want him to go into a dangerous cave, scroll down to III.
II. Uh-oh, Sir Benneton died by way of your decisions.
III. "Nope, not doing it," thought Sir Benneton. "Caves are boring and probably hard to write about. I'd rather go on a quest." He remembered the three quests in his quest planner. "I must choose one of my three quests," thought the slightly brave knight.
If you want Sir Benneton to attack the evil witches of Death Mountain, scroll back up to II, genius. If you want Sir Benneton to fight the evil Orcs of Lothlórien, scroll down to IV. If you want Sir Benneton to undergo the 12 Trials of the Elder Tablets, scroll down to V.
IV. Rent The Lord of the Rings and pretend Sir Benneton is one of the sword guys.
V. Sir Benneton rode to his friend Saltobius, wizard and knower of the way. "Saltobius," he said. "Pray tell what you know of the 12 Trials of the Elder Tablets."
"Oh, my," replied Saltobius. "To achieve them is a meandering quest, fraught with peril and rich with complex symbolism! Why, even the first trial is made up of hundreds of tedious steps that serve as a sort of allegory for man's internal struggle. Beware, Sir Benneton, for this undertaking will require dozens and dozens of tough decisions, the outcomes of which could take you down startlingly divergent paths. Steel thyself for what follows. First, you must—"
Just then, some big rocks fell off a cliff above them. They were instantly crushed. Forever.
Scroll up to II.
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