Like sharks, jet skis navigate watery terrain with ease, demand attention from tourists, and form unrequited crushes on dolphins. Hop on the back of a pining watercraft with today's Groupon: for $124, you get a 90-minute jet-ski tour of Miami Harbor for up to two people from Jet Ski Tours of Miami (a $249.50 value).
Jet Ski Tours of Miami sends clients soaring by the opulent homes of Star Island to sites where they may view marine wildlife or let loose to ride the open waves during 90-minute guided adventures. Unlike jet-ski rentals that relegate riders to a certain square of water, daring drivers on the tour can satiate velocity cravings in a speed-limit-free zone and may spot wild dolphins or manatees during the expedition, getting close enough to touch them or swap snickerdoodle recipes. From the seat of their blazing water steed—a 2010–2011 Yamaha VX110 WaveRunner—customers take in views of sandy beaches, sparkling water, and posh villas, culling companionship from a chosen friend, date, or waterproof robot, since a second rider is free with the tour. Jet skis are inspected weekly for safety and serviced monthly to ensure a breakdown-free ride and an absence of talkative barnacles.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Heartbreak
Hearts break whenever a relationship ends or an animated lion king dies. Here are some tips for dealing with relationship-related heart hurt:
Purge Memories: Throw out any pictures, letters, clothing, electronic equipment, national ad campaigns, inspirational posters, Civil War–era medical apparatuses, or fake hair that might remind you of your ex.
Console Yourself with Food: An all-consuming relationship with food is the only thing that can replace an all-consuming relationship with another human—except an addiction to texting, which trumps everything.
Work on Bettering Yourself: Who wants to waste time in love when you could be revising a beading project or working on the right facial expressions to make when eating alone?
Move On: There are hundreds of other people in the world, many of whom are available for dating right now. The rest are waiting in line for an amusement park ride.
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